Miss Independent

I’m going to pre-apologize right now because this is going to be a MAJOR venting post.

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I found this quote a couple of months ago while I was browsing around on Pinterest. I immediately pinned it to my own board, saved it to my phone, and proceeded to post it on Instagram. I wish I could just post this quote in every women’s locker room, dance studio, grocery store – I know it’s cliche, but places that women frequent the most. Because women are the ones who do this most often. I felt like sharing this quote because I think it’s something that we, as women, really need to pay attention to. It wasn’t that long ago that our female ancestors fought so hard for women’s rights and women’s liberation. And here we are, in modern-day society, revolving around men like planets revolve around the sun.

Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.

Bailing out on your friends, blowing up a guy’s phone around the clock, obsessively checking his Facebook to see if he’s been posting anything, because you haven’t heard from him yet today and you’re wondering what the f**k you did – I mean, usually he sends you a cute wake up text with a little wink face on it.

C’mon. We are all guilty of this. Thank you, technology.

And what’s the deal with breaking up with someone one day, and then having a new guy literally the next day? Quite frankly, I am completely mind-blown at how this is accomplished. Do you constantly have men on the back-burner, just in case things don’t work out with number one? Are you really so afraid to be alone with yourself? No offense, ladies, but this is borderline drug addiction. People drink and do drugs to escape reality. Isn’t that what being alone is? Reality? And isn’t that the same thing as jumping around from man to man, never able to settle because you’re so lost and so unaware of who you are that you just keep trying different men (aka different drugs), getting more and more addicted to the cycle of trying to find “love”?

I can’t tell you how many women I’ve known in my life that fit this profile to a “T”. Raise your hand if you’ve had three or more relationships this year. I’ve had three relationships in 26 years. Three relationships in my whole entire life. That’s not to say that I didn’t want more, but I was so shy in my youth that boys were as foreign to me as being dropped out of a helicopter in a third world country where they speak a language you’ve never even heard of.

BUT, the complete and total upside to my lack of boyfriends in my younger years was my ability to get to know ME. I’ve spent more time with myself in this life than any man, and I’m better off for it. I don’t come out of a relationship and immediately look for the next one. I take that time to get to know myself again (every relationship changes us, whether we like it or not, and we must learn to redefine ourselves as the person we are NOW).

And, yes, I AM in a relationship now, and I love him and I love spending time with him. But I also love the little moments I get to myself. The two hours I spend every day exercising my dogs and being alone with them. Reading a book, enjoying a glass of wine. Painting my nails, watching a movie. The simplest pleasures in life that pass us by when we get too preoccupied with other things.

Don’t get me wrong, relationships are wonderful – whether good or bad they teach us something about ourselves and what we want (or don’t want) out of life. But the relationship you have with yourself is the most important one. After all, if YOU don’t want to be alone with you, then why the hell would anyone else want to?

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