What Came First: The Crazy or the Man?

I’ve been blessed with a brain that has a natural affinity for numbers, letters, and art. I love math, reading, writing, and creating. On a day-to-day basis, these traits come in mighty handy. For relationships, however, they often times do not.

For the last several weeks I have been seeing a new guy. In my mind, things were going well. We spent enough time together that my phone recognized his home location and it would tell me every day how long it would take me to get to his house. And pretty much every day, that’s where I could be found.

Recently, though, out of the blue, three days passed with no communication from him. I sent out one phone call and one text message over the course of a day and had no reciprocation.

Well, fine. If that’s the way you want to play it..

Okay, no, I didn’t actually play it cool. At least, not in my mind. For three days I dissected every single little detail of the prior week and wondered where the hiccup was. I literally lost sleep over this.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!

I mean, SERIOUSLY. Da fuq?

Why do women do this? I can’t speak for the men because I honestly don’t know what goes on in your brains, but I know from thousands of experiences between myself and girlfriends that this is not uncommon for the female species. We mull over shit like it might actually change something if we figure out what went wrong. And that’s if something went wrong. At the end of the day, maybe dudes just need a couple days away from us crazy bitches. I mean, that really is a pretty logical explanation.

And my overactive mind which is generally crowded and jumbled with numbers, letters, words, thoughts, ideas.. Well, all that shit has to come out at some point because I sure as fuck don’t want it to stay locked up in my brain.

So then I spend hours writing and rewriting one simple little text message to send him. Simple. Ha. A few words strung together seemingly haphazardly, but, let’s be honest, they are so loaded. There is so much meaning behind every single word placement.

Get. Fucking. Real.

No wonder men need their space from us. If they could peek into our brains for even half a second they would run screaming in the other direction. Or sprinting, more likely.

Yesterday, on Facebook, a guy friend of mine posted a screenshot of a text thread between himself and a girl he’d hooked up with. She showed up at his house one night [uninvited, of course], and caught him in bed with another woman. Needless to say, she freaked out. And after he fucked with her mind and said he loved the girl she found him in bed with, she went off and basically told him she should have gotten pregnant with his baby and trapped him, and that she was going to die because he didn’t love her.

Okay, melodramatic, right? You aren’t going to die.

But, he’d clearly been stringing her along. And obviously in her poor, befuddled brain she had been doing exactly what I’ve been doing. Slowly losing her freaking mind over something that in the grand scheme of things is so not worth any ounce of energy.

So my question here is, is it us as females that are just instinctively crazy? Or are men making us behave this way?

And at what point can we finally just collapse from the exhaustion and shut our goddamn brains off?

Today I had to give myself a mental slap in the face. My entire blog is about being independent and loving oneself before loving others, and here I am distracting myself from what’s important in life over a man who I’m not even in a relationship with who decided to go AWOL.

So BIG FUCKING DEAL. GET OVER IT, BITCH. You WILL live.

And, a reminder: the men who actually care will not just disappear off the face of the earth without an explanation. Really, they probably won’t disappear at all. AND, the things that you love about somebody you can always find in somebody else.

And, girls, let’s face reality here. We cannot turn back the hands of time. So once something is said and done, then there it is – said and done. We can’t take it back and we can’t change it. Life is about moving forward and working around the difficulties that pop up from time-to-time. At the end of the day, all that matters is that you are happy.

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