I just wanted to take a second here to discuss something that frequently pops up in my news feed on Facebook.
As a writer [ha – or, you know, blogger], I like to follow other blogs.
One that I follow is called PuckerMob. Essentially I think it’s just a general blogger site where anybody can sign up and post whatever they feel. Not sure, to be honest.
Anyway.. It’s one that I follow. And the posts constantly pop up in my newsfeed on Facebook. And every once in a while one will catch my eye because I feel like it’s something that I can relate to.
Lately, though, I’ve been having a hard time with the posts popping up. And maybe it’s because I’m in such a good, happy place in my life right now that I just literally can no longer relate to how these people are feeling.. BUT, regardless, some of the things people have been writing about are just SO depressing and self mutilating, in a sense.
For example, about two months ago, a post popped up that I was 100% on board with and, in fact, wrote a relatable post about but didn’t end up going public with. The premise of this woman’s post was that she felt she had met “The One” and that he also ended up being “The One That Got Away.” She wrote that she was so afraid to be herself with him in fear that she’d lose him, and so therefore she was so calculated about what she said and how she acted around him. And, in the end, she lost him anyway.
Around the time I came across this post, I was feeling a similar feeling about a guy I had dated several months back. A month-and-a-half post break up and I still couldn’t get him out of my head – I constantly felt like I had lost “my person.” We had this instant connection and I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame – and yet I could never let my guard down around him, could never truly and fully reveal myself to him. Looking back on it now, I was never actually comfortable around him. He exuded this “perfect” persona and consistently had this judgmental air about him that kept me from warming up and opening up to him. I am the first to admit that I’m a bit of a weirdo. Having spent the better part of my life as shy and introverted I’ve definitely just become accustomed to accepting myself for who I am. And when I didn’t feel like I could be that person around this guy, I should have known that something wasn’t quite right.
And now I’ve met somebody who, from the get-go, I’ve been able to completely be myself with. He knows everything about me [and vice-versa] and I’ve never felt ashamed about my past choices nor have I ever felt uncomfortable around him. Suffice it to say that he actually likes and matches my weirdness with his own. And, BONUS, he makes me want to be a better person.
My point? WHY do we do this to ourselves? Why do we get so lost in these emotions and let them dictate our lives? And why do we hold onto these feelings for so long? If we constantly think that somebody got away or allow ourselves to miss somebody who, in the grand scheme of things, really didn’t impact our lives for that long of a time, we will lose out on so many other BETTER opportunities.
Case in point: the minute I gave up on this guy, and the second I let go of the grudge I’d been holding against another ex, I met somebody. Karma? Heck yes.
Don’t waste valuable time, emotions and energy on people and things that you know deep down in your gut are not worth it. There are always warning signals in these situations. ALWAYS. Every time I’ve gone been heading into a black hole there have been signs warning me against the plunge.. And I’ve ignored them. Every time. And I’ve had to suffer the consequences.
This new guy? No bad signs. No warning signals. No negativity.
The lesson here? Karma spits out what you feed it. So give good to karma and it will give good to you. And listen to your gut and your soul. They are never wrong!