We’ve all heard the age-old saying of “how a man treats his mom is how he’ll treat a woman.”
In my experience, this is only half true.
There’s definitely proof that the way you are raised and the environment you are raised in effects your adulthood and the people you choose to surround yourself with. I’m a bit of an exception to this rule, as for the entirety of my twenties I chose to hang out with people who were really not like me nor did they have the same background as me. They were content with partying every single day and working minimum wage restaurant jobs for the rest of their lives. I was not raised by parents [or a family, for that matter – grandparents, aunt and uncle included] who ever surrounded themselves with people like that. I definitely went through a rebel phase and strayed off my chosen path of life a bit.
Because of this, I have dated my fair share of guys. Most of them with lots of baggage and their own sets of issues. And nearly all of them had little to no relationship with their mothers after adolescence. None of them treated me well, and none of them ever felt their behavior was wrong.
About a year-and-a-half ago, I finally came across a guy who had an amazing relationship with his mom. And until a few years prior, his parents had been happily married and they had been a very tight-knit family. My instant thought was “JACKPOT. There really are still good men out there.”
Here’s the thing about that guy, he didn’t end up treating me right, either.
Because he was a mama’s boy.
What is a mama’s boy, you ask? A mama’s boy is a guy who will always put his mother before you. She is the number one lady in his life and always will be. A mama’s boy is a guy who acts like he’s still latched onto the tit, and so does she [sorry to be blunt, but it’s true]. His mommy dotes on him – nothing he does could ever be wrong! He is perfect in every way, and because of this mentality she’s instilled in him, this is how he will be in a relationship. You will always be wrong, and he will always be right. He will always have a very immature attitude about everything, because mama treats him like he’s five so of course he’s going to act like it [tantrums, you ask? yes – whiny about everything, and lots of extremely childish arguments and games].
So, yeah, he treats his mom well, but does that really sound like a guy you want to date? Coming in second, ALWAYS, to mom? Don’t get me wrong, I think it is extremely healthy [and attractive!] for a man to have a great relationship with his mom. My boyfriend keeps in touch with his mom – he says and does nice things for her. He loves her and tells her so. But he doesn’t call her whining when he doesn’t get his way. And she understands that he’s an adult, and while she will always be his mother, there was a point where she could no longer treat him like a baby and could only give him her best advice to steer him on the right path in life.
Ladies, be mindful of this mama’s boy type – and don’t mistake him for a man who loves and respects his mother in a healthy way. There ARE good guys out there! If you come across a mama’s boy, don’t waste your time and effort in trying to get him to put you before her – it’s a dead end street and truly an exhaustive waste of energy. Life is short, but it’s not THAT short – you deserve to be happy and to find the healthiest and happiest relationships that the world has to offer. Don’t forget that!