The Peter Pan Complex [Sac Is The New Neverland!]

Before I turned 30, I was actually ready to turn 30. I couldn’t wait to leave the decade of my twenties behind. It’s not that I hated my twenties, it’s just that it was the decade that, for me, was made of poor decisions and setbacks. I went to four colleges before I realized that school wasn’t for me, I dated idiot after idiot, I partied a lot and hung out with the wrong crowd.. I mean, nothing out of the ordinary for a younger twenty-something.

So, needless to say, when I finally felt like my world wasn’t so tilted anymore, when I felt like I had finally gotten myself on the straight and narrow, I realized that I was ready to leave those years behind me.

But why did it take me so long to finally get my ducks in a row? There are a couple of contributing factors.

First, my generation is taking longer and longer to settle down with a significant other [if we ever do]. As admirable as it is that people want to be successful in their own life before joining forces with another, the longer we wait to settle down, the harder it is to intertwine another life with ours. We get accustomed to doing things our own way, coming and going as we please, eating how we want, getting comfortable in our day-to-day routines – suddenly adding another person to the mix is freakin’ hard.

Another reason it took me so long to grow up was because of this area I live in. I love Sacramento, I really do. I’ve never called anywhere else home, despite living in San Luis Obispo for a year, and Chico for two [college]. It’s a great place to raise a family, and once you do finally grow up, it’s a pretty safe and comfortable place to settle down. BUT, that said, there are a LOT of people my age in this area who have absolutely no desire to better themselves or to get ahead in this world. Like, way too many. Most people my age are comfortable with their job as a club promoter, bartender, server or cocktail server somewhere in downtown Sac. They are easy jobs and they lend so well to the party lifestyle. I’ll be honest, I totally understand the appeal of going out to the clubs every night, and going out boating with friends every weekend. I lived that life for many years! But I got over it. I eventually got burnt out on the whole same-thing-different-year lifestyle. The thing that blows my mind is that people are STILL living that life. People well into their thirties and even forties continue to act like they are 21. I know there are people in every city and every town who fall into this category, but the amount of people in Sacramento who are definitely too old to be living the way they do is a tad bit scary. And these people are reproducing – even worse.

I’m not saying that we all shouldn’t have fun every once in a while. We definitely should, but while acting our age. We should also want better lives for ourselves. Let’s take San Francisco, for example. YES – it’s totally a party city. There are lots of clubs and bars and a huge nightlife. BUT, everybody who can afford that lifestyle is either in school and working, or has a great career that pays handsomely. People are motivated, and while they do live a bit of that Peter Pan lifestyle, they also all actually want to settle down. AND, most SF residents have roommates. So you’re never really totally alone. You’re already accustomed to sharing a home and a life with somebody.

It may have taken me a while to purge myself of my party mode, but I guess it’s better late than never. I do not in any way regret my twenties and the decisions I made – everything I’ve done and everyone that I’ve met to this point in my life has shaped who I am in some way. That said, I’m also happy to be done with that chapter of my life, LOL. The party life is definitely not for me. I’m happiest when I’m cuddled on the couch at home with a glass of wine, my fiancé and Miss Bella. Cheers to that!

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