Since my grandmother passed away last March, I have become a lot more aware of signs.
The day before she left, I took Bella to a public park close to our old apartment to throw the ball for her so she could burn off some steam. I also needed to get outside and breathe in the fresh air. My heart was heavy with the knowledge that I could and would lose my grandma at any moment, and the feeling of being inside was oppressive.
When we got to the park, we found a vacant soccer field full of dandelions for Bella to run around in. Feeling sad and thinking it couldn’t hurt to pick a dandelion, make a wish, and blow the petals away, I leaned down and plucked a random one from the ground. I can’t remember what I wished for – it probably had something to do with sending my grandma off peacefully. After I made my wish, I blew on the flower to release the seedlings. It was as they were flying away that I noticed something red about the size of my pinky nail in the center of the bloom.
A ladybug. A symbol of luck, granting wishes, blessings and finding true happiness. And of all the thousands of dandelions in the field that day, I picked the one with a ladybug inside it. The tiny little bug brought me so much peace that day, and has made me acutely aware of other signs like her since then.
Not long after my grandma died, I was driving to work when a white bird flew in front of my car. And not just any white bird – a white dove. A bird not at all indigenous to the Sacramento area. A bird that represents purity, love and peace, and encourages you to reconnect with your spirituality or a loved one.
I am not a magazine reader by any means – I don’t follow gossip columns, I don’t subscribe to Cosmo. I honestly couldn’t tell you the last time I even purchased a magazine let alone read one But somehow I ended up with a free subscription to Women’s Health magazine. And today I finally decided to pick up one of the issues and flip through it. What prompted me to write this post was an article I read in Women’s Health magazine today, titled “Love Advice from the Other Side.” The article interviews a woman who is a medium that specializes in helping women find love by communicating with “teams” and reading signs from the other side.
One thing to know about me – I am fascinated by the idea that we may be able to communicate with the other side. And this article sort of solidified how I’ve been feeling since I lost my grandma; like she’s been trying to subtly steer me in the right direction – dropping little hints and putting certain people and opportunities in my life.
From March of last year through January of this year, my dating game changed a lot. I stopped going out with the “bad boy” persona, and started to set my sights on men whose goals and aspirations matched my own. Whose backgrounds and family dynamics paralleled my own. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
It was in late January, almost exactly eleven months ago, that I met my boyfriend. I had reconnected with my idiot ex a few weeks before, and when he pissed me off again for the 68793498347th time, I gave him the boot. The final boot. It could have been that I was just sick of his shit and that was the last straw, but I think my grandma had a lot to do with it. I think she gave me the strength I needed to finally cut the jackass out of my life and move on.
And had I not had that horrible ex, I never would have been able to truly appreciate the man I am with now. So maybe that was another thing my grandma executed – the timing of it all.
I might sound crazy to you, and truth be told I haven’t always believed in ghosts, paranormal activity, spirits, etc. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve come to find comfort in thinking there may be a realm just beyond ours. There’s peace of mind in knowing that my grandma could very well be watching over me, and helping to guide me on the right path in life.
Even if you don’t believe in mediums and the afterlife, I encourage you to read the article. It’s an interesting read, and gives you a few tips on how to be more aware of the subtle hints and signs in your own life.
A thank you to my grandmother, who was like another mother to me, and who has led me to the beautiful place in life I am in today.