Gals

Selfies That Aren’t Really Selfies

As a woman in today’s society, I am all for female empowerment. I love that more and more women are holding high ranking positions in companies across the nation. I think it’s so great that ladies are making a name for themselves through social media with style and lifestyle blogs and fitness careers. I even think it’s great that a gal can snag a modeling career through Instagram. What I can’t get on board with, though, are the selfies that aren’t selfies.

What are selfies that aren’t selfies? They are photos that women take where it’s heavy on the cleavage and light to nonexistent on anything else [I know you know what photos I’m talking about]. It’s always the same women who post them – an abundance of fake [occasionally real] breasts which take up 3/4 of the photo, and a smidgen of face, clothes [if any] and other paraphernalia that are smashed into the remaining quarter.

And don’t say it’s a “fake boob thing” because it’s not. I know several women with implants who don’t flaunt them a single bit.

I truly don’t understand why certain women do this. Is it an insecurity thing? Do they need the validation that they look good because 85 men [horny, noncommittal men] commented on a photo of their breasts? Maybe it’s a cry for attention? Whatever it is, it’s not attracting anything positive.

When I was going through my rough patch in life when I wasn’t sure who I was or what I wanted to do with my life, I thought I could be friends with and become one of those women. But, every time I’d even try taking a booby selfie, I’d get extremely uncomfortable and just give up. Clearly a sign that it wasn’t the type of attention I wanted to draw to myself.

I actually used to be really good friends with a girl who was [and still is] just like this. She posts at least one cleavage selfie every day. Usually there’s a coffee mug or some sort of alcohol involved. And on top of the selfies, she posts dirty, inappropriate quotes, and occasionally intermixes a family photo in which she is wearing something extremely revealing and not at all family friendly. She gets hundreds of likes and comments on her photos, tons of private/direct messages – mostly friend men, but some from women who are like her, too. I used to get so jealous before I realized that not a single one of the people contacting her respected her nor wanted to commit to her. The men want one thing: sex. And the women validate her because they are exactly the same.

I understand that most humans go through a time in our lives where we fall off track a little. We lose our way. We waver from what we do know to what we don’t know. But most of the time we get back on the straight and narrow. We find ourselves again. We settle into a comfortable, healthy lifestyle and find happiness. My fiancé didn’t fall in love with me because of my looks. While I’m sure that was part of it, it wasn’t the entirety of the reason. He was attracted to me for my brain; for my ability to hold a lengthy and intelligent conversation. He loves that I’m not fake in anyway; that I dress my age and act and look classy. It makes me sad for these showy women to know that they are not happy. That even at 30+ years old, women can still have major insecurities and not enough self-love.

While this is obviously a female-specific habit, I think it’s a responsibility for women and men to start lifting females up in a different light. Idolizing inappropriate photos is not helping these ladies feel better about themselves. We need to show them that just because they have a body, doesn’t mean they are only physical. We all have brains, we each have personality traits, talents, likes and dislikes – let’s encourage one another to dig a little deeper and find out what’s beyond the outside. Everyone deserves to be happy and a fair chance to find it.

…And the bonus of it all will be the beautiful woman on the outside, too :)

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